Why I Quit My Daily Cold Showers (And Found a Better Way)

I’m very well aware that sometimes the thing I know will be good for me is the thing I want to do the least. I often find myself in an internal battle between the ‘you should…’ voice and the ‘but I don’t want to…’ rebellion. Maybe you can relate?

This exact battle cropped up last week and got me thinking: how do you know when you should push through with something you really don’t want to do, and when it’s okay to just let it go? Furthermore, when do you know that your goals/expectations are the problem - not the intention - perhaps they are unrealistic and need reviewing - check out this post for clues: https://www.carrieemilycoaching.com/blog/are-unrealistic-expectations-holding-you-back.

Let me provide some context. My internal battle was over cold showers. I had decided (with great enthusiasm, I might add) to take a short cold shower each day, fully aware of the supposed benefits. I wanted in on those benefits. I started strong—one minute of cold water each morning for three days straight. I even had cold showers after using the sauna at my gym. But then I noticed something disturbing… I was no longer looking forward to my morning shower.

Now, this might not sound like a big deal, but my morning shower is sacred. It’s my warm, comforting, five-minute retreat before the madness of getting the kids up, dressed, fed, and out of the door. That shower is my moment of peace. But suddenly, instead of enjoying it, I was dreading it.

This was not the effect I was hoping for. I wanted to start my day calmly, not with a sense of impending doom. It made me question: just because something has benefits, does that automatically mean I should do it? But then again, I also resist going to the gym sometimes, yet I always feel great once I’m there and even better once it’s over. So, when should we push ourselves, and when is it okay to say, ‘You know what? This just isn’t for me’?

Sometimes, I really have to check in with myself to make sure my ‘critter brain’ (the part that just wants to keep me safe and comfortable) isn’t in the driving seat. But then again, our critter brain isn’t always wrong—it can pick up on things our rational mind hasn’t quite processed yet, like a gut feeling telling us something isn’t right.

So, back to the cold shower dilemma. I understand the research; I know the benefits. And realistically, it’s not difficult to integrate into my day. But if it’s making me dread a part of my morning that I usually love, are those benefits really worth it? Should I give up altogether?

No. Instead, I asked myself: what would be a reasonable and enjoyable way to incorporate cold water therapy into my life? I already take active steps to look after my health, so missing out on this wouldn’t be catastrophic. But, in the spirit of marginal gains, I thought a compromise might be the best solution. So, I decided I’d only take a cold shower at the gym after using the sauna—about two to three times a week. I actually enjoy it in that context, and it doesn’t interfere with my precious morning routine. Win-win.

When we find something difficult, it’s easy to come up with reasons to just jack it in altogether. And sometimes, that’s the right call. But I’d argue it’s worth having an honest conversation with yourself (or someone close to you) before making that decision. Maybe there’s a middle ground. Maybe you can tweak things so it works for you, rather than against you.

Often, things that are good for us can feel overwhelmingly difficult to fit into our lives. That’s why it’s always best to start small and remember: something is better than nothing. Progress over perfection. One small step forward is still forwards.

If you’re struggling with something—not necessarily a cold shower, but anything that feels impossible to push through—ask yourself: ‘What is the smallest action I can take right now?’ Even if it seems tiny and insignificant, it still counts.

Psychologically, this matters. Self-efficacy—the belief in your ability to do something—builds through action. Small wins prove to your brain that you can do it, which makes it easier to keep going. Your critter brain, which is initially nervous about change, starts to relax once you show it evidence that you’re capable.

So, take the first step. Don’t worry about the whole staircase just yet—that part will come. Focus on that first, small action, and before you know it, you’ll be doing the thing you once thought you couldn’t. And if that thing happens to be a cold shower, well… good luck to you!