Pressing Pause: Why Stepping Back Isn’t Giving Up
Learning when to rest is not only important for our own self care - but also the future self care of our daughters.
Ever feel like the world is spinning too fast, and no matter how hard you try, you’re always two steps behind? This week, I found myself in that very place. Despite my best efforts to juggle work, family, and the million little demands of daily life, everything just felt... off.
The cause? A mild illness that knocked me off my feet and threw my perfectly (or so I thought) managed schedule into chaos. But what I learned during this time wasn’t just about navigating a chaotic week—it was about recognising when to step back and why it’s okay to let go and allow the world to keep spinning without you.
The Myth of Keeping Up
We tell ourselves that as long as we keep pushing, keep ticking things off the endless to-do list, we’re in control. But what happens when we can’t keep up? When, no matter how hard we try, we can’t meet the expectations—both external and self-imposed—that weigh us down?
For me, I had just started to feel relatively on top of life and I had a clear plan for moving forward: work commitments, kids’ activities, a health routine, and some long-overdue personal admin. Then life threw in a curveball, and suddenly I was behind on everything. I took just one day off to recover, but it felt like the entire world had left me behind. The backlog grew, and with each missed task, my stress levels climbed.
Yet, as the days passed, I realised something. The pressure I was feeling wasn’t really coming from the outside—it was coming from me. I was driving myself into a frenzy, demanding that I keep everything in perfect order, not for my benefit, but to avoid criticism or the fear of seeming like I couldn’t handle it all. the irony was that the more I tried to keep up the more I lost control.
The World Keeps Spinning
Here’s the truth: the world doesn’t pause just because we’re having an off week. It keeps moving. Emails keep coming, deadlines remain fixed, and family life doesn’t skip a beat. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that if we don’t keep pace, we’ll be seen as dropping the ball, or worse, failing.
But what if we could reframe it? What if we could step back and realise that not everything needs to be done right now? What if we allow the world to keep spinning while we step off the ride for a while to catch our breath?
Taking Back Control
This week, I finally decided to do just that. Instead of running myself ragged trying to stay on top of everything, I took a step back. I focused on the non-negotiables — keeping the kids fed and the basic work commitments ticking over — and let everything else sit in the background. Reports, emails, admin? They all had to wait.
I gave myself permission to let go of the endless striving and embraced a new mindset: If it’s truly urgent, it’ll get my attention. If it can wait, then it wasn’t as critical as I thought. And you know what? The sky didn’t fall. The world didn’t implode. Life went on and I felt more in control.
The Real Source of Pressure
During this stage of letting go, I realised that a lot of the stress I’d been feeling wasn’t even about the workload—it was about proving myself. Somewhere deep down, I’d convinced myself that I needed to keep all the plates spinning, not for me, but to show everyone else that I could do it. Because if I couldn’t, what would that say about me?
But why do we set ourselves such unrealistic standards? For many of us, the pressure is rooted in a belief that our worth is tied to what we can achieve. We’re only valuable if we’re useful, if we’re serving others, if we’re making ourselves indispensable. And when we fall short, when we can’t deliver, we feel anxious and inadequate. For me, it goes even deeper—I feel unworthy, undeserving, like I’m letting people down.
It’s a sobering realisation, but it’s also empowering. Because once we see where the pressure is coming from, we can begin to dismantle it.
The Art of Stepping Back
So what’s the solution? For me, it was about learning to step back. Not giving up, but rather pressing pause. Taking a moment to assess what truly matters and what doesn’t. And, most importantly, realising that we don’t have to be running at 100% all the time to be valuable.
This week, I prioritised rest over productivity. I chose nourishment and sleep over staying up late to finish tasks that weren’t crucial. I spent time reconnecting with my family instead of worrying about ticking off every item on my to-do list. I reminded myself that I am enough, even when I’m not achieving.
And, slowly, I felt the pressure lift.
Moving Forward with Intention
If you’re in a place where everything feels overwhelming and you’re desperately trying to keep up, I encourage you to pause. Step back, breathe, and let go of the need to do it all. Focus on what truly needs your attention, and let the rest wait. You might be amazed at how the world still functions without you trying to run it.
When you give yourself permission to slow down, to prioritise yourself and your well-being, you’ll find that things tend to fall into place. The things that really matter will still be there when you’re ready. The rest? It probably wasn’t that important to begin with.
This Week’s Takeaways:
Pause and reassess: When life feels chaotic, step back and focus on what truly needs your energy.
Let go of self-imposed pressure: A lot of our stress comes from trying to meet unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves.
Value yourself beyond your achievements: You are enough, even when you’re not ticking off every item on the to-do list.
The world will keep spinning whether we’re running at full speed or stepping off the ride for a breather. But taking that pause doesn’t mean we’re failing—it means we’re choosing to look after ourselves. And that, I believe, is something worth celebrating.
If this resonates with you I would love to hear from you in the comments.
Have a great week and don’t be afraid to step off the ride for a pause if that is what you need - I am living proof you will be okay!