Are Unrealistic Expectations Holding You Back?
If you’re finding yourself stuck in the same cycle year after year, setting goals, feeling motivated, and then losing steam, you’re not alone. It’s easy to think that the problem is you, that maybe you just don’t have what it takes. But what if I told you that the issue isn’t you at all? It’s the goals you’re setting.
Unrealistic Expectations Are Just Excuses in Disguise
It sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it? But here’s the reality: when we set goals that are completely out of reach, what we’re really doing is giving ourselves a safety net. If we set ourselves up to fail from the start, we have a built-in excuse when things don’t work out. The goals become more about appearing ambitious than genuinely setting ourselves up for success.
I’ve been guilty of this myself. Every New Year’s Eve, I would sit down and write out an ambitious list:
Lose a stone and a half
Exercise four times a week
Only drink alcohol at weekends
Meditate daily
Clear out my house of clutter
It looked good on paper, and I thought if I could just muster up enough willpower, I’d be a completely different person by the end of the year. But year after year, my lists remained just that—lists, with no real changes to show for them.
Why Do Unrealistic Expectations Set Us Up to Fail?
Looking back, I realised there were a few key reasons why I kept falling into the same trap:
I Set Too Many Goals At Once
Trying to change multiple things at once is overwhelming. It’s like trying to juggle with no experience—everything is bound to drop sooner or later. The effort and focus required for multiple goals stretches you too thin, leading to burnout before you’ve even begun.I Had No Real Plan
A goal without a plan is just a wish. Writing down goals felt productive, but I never created actionable steps to achieve them. There was no strategy, no roadmap, no structure. I was essentially blindfolded, hoping to stumble my way to success.I Didn’t Prepare for Roadblocks
Every worthwhile journey will have obstacles. I didn’t anticipate setbacks, let alone plan for how I’d overcome them. When life inevitably got in the way—work pressures, family commitments, or just low-energy days—I didn’t know how to adjust. My goals felt fragile, like they could shatter at the slightest disruption.I Didn’t Reflect on Why I’d Failed Before
I’d been setting the same goals for years, each time expecting a different result. I never asked myself the tough questions: Why haven’t I succeeded before? What’s been holding me back? What needs to change? Instead, I kept doing the same things and wondering why I got the same results.
Motivation Alone Won’t Cut It
I had motivation in abundance at the start—who doesn’t love that fresh-start energy of a new year? But motivation is fleeting. Without a solid plan grounded in what’s realistic and actionable, it withers away fast. By the third week of January, I’d already slipped up, felt discouraged, and eventually thrown in the towel.
This cycle went on for years. I felt like a failure. I convinced myself that I was simply incapable of change.
But I wasn’t a failure. I just didn’t have the right approach. It’s like trying to bake a cake with just flour. No matter how much effort or motivation you bring, you can’t create a beautiful Victoria sponge with only one ingredient. I was missing the recipe for success.
A New Approach: One Realistic Goal At a Time
When I finally came to understand habit change through my training, and shifted my mindset and approach, everything changed. I started by setting just one realistic goal at a time. I created a detailed plan, anticipated setbacks, and focused on why this goal mattered to me. And the difference was night and day.
I didn’t need to change everything at once. I just needed to start somewhere realistic. And so do you.
Let Me Help You Gather the Ingredients for Success
If you’re tired of setting goals that never seem to stick, I’m here to help. You don’t need more motivation or another New Year’s resolution. You need a recipe that includes all the right ingredients: focus, planning, support, and a strategy for overcoming setbacks.
I help women like you identify what’s really holding them back and develop a personalised approach to achieve meaningful change. I can help you gather all of the ingredients you need so you can finally bake that damn cake.
It’s not about doing more. It’s about doing it right. Let’s work together to set realistic, achievable goals—and create the lasting change you’ve been craving. Simply click on the link below to arrange a free discovery call.