Are you taking enough responsibility for your own stress management?

Seriously? Another post on stress management! I know, I know. But hear me out.

The stress problem.

Stress is a huge problem. Potentially catastrophic for our workplaces and NHS. Do not underestimate the cost of stress not just financially, but also on a personal level. The impact on relationships, physical health and mental health can not be emphasised enough.

In the UK alone, according to the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) in 2019/20, an estimated 828,000 workers in the UK reported experiencing work-related stress, depression or anxiety, which led to 17.9 million working days lost. This represents a significant number of people who suffer from stress-related illness in the UK.

However, it's worth noting that this only includes those who reported stress-related illness as a work-related issue, and there may be many others who experience stress in other areas of their lives, such as personal relationships, financial worries, or health problems. So, the actual number of people who suffer from stress-related illness in the UK is likely to be higher than this estimate.

It is also worth considering that this statistic is pre-pandemic, so the figure today is likely to be significantly higher with the added challenges of remote working, social isolation, loss and the recent financial pressure which all contribute to peoples stress.

Stress is not all bad.

However, before we completely vilify stress, let’s remember that stress is not all bad. We need stress in our lives, we wouldn’t function without it, but good stress management is about recognising the difference between ‘good’ stress and ‘bad’ stress, learning how to manage the bad stress and understanding what to do if you find yourself in the midst of stress storm.

Why are we so bad at managing stress?

So, we know that ‘bad’ stress is a very real and very dangerous threat to our wellbeing in multiple ways. So why do we so often only pay lip service to it?

We have access to a wealth of resources on stress management. We read books, listen to podcasts, attend training sessions and subscribe to multiple apps designed to either help us manage our lives or take us through guided meditations. Our places of work potentially spend hundreds or thousands of pounds on packages designed to provide the understanding and tools to ensure their employees are fully equipped to manage stress and productivity so they can glide effortlessly through their day….

Stress management techniques only work if you use them.

But like diets, stress management strategies only actually work if you use them and by ‘use them’ I mean if you consistently implement them into your life, not just when you are burnout.

Why are we so bad at actually doing the stress management? There are lots of potential explanations, here are just a few of the main ones:

1. Lack of awareness: Some people may not realize that they are experiencing stress, or they may not be aware of the negative effects that stress can have on their physical and mental health.

2. Denial: Some people may deny that they are experiencing stress or may minimize its impact on their lives, which can make it difficult to take action to manage it.

3. Stigma: There may be a stigma associated with seeking help for mental health issues, which can make people reluctant to ask for assistance in managing their stress.

4. Time constraints: People may feel like they don't have enough time to manage their stress, or they may prioritize other tasks over self-care.

5. Lack of knowledge or resources: Some people may not know how to manage stress effectively, or they may not have access to the resources or support they need to do so.

6. Fear of change: Managing stress may require making changes to one's lifestyle, such as getting more sleep, exercising regularly, or making dietary changes, which can be daunting for some people.

Maybe you recognise yourself in some of these reasons for not taking an active role in your own stress management, maybe you recognise them in your colleagues, friends and family. In any case, one thing remains true (and its worth repeating) - stress management is not a passive exercise. Techniques and strategies will only ever work if you use them. Consistently. Therefore, understanding your barriers is key to change, once you know your blind spots and identify potential bumps in the road you can create a road map to navigate the journey and create lasting, sustainable change that benefits you long into the future.

Stress reduction vs. stress prevention

It is also worth highlighting the fact that stress management is also not just about extinguishing the fire when it takes hold, it’s about preventing the fire in the first place.

Stress management should not just be a reactive action, it should be a continual effort, it is about forming habits that become part of your daily routine and life, it is about changing your perception about what is important, it is about reviewing your entire life and adapting so that you can live a more happy, relaxed and fulfilled life.

Put it this way, when you get a cold if your immune system is already weak due to poor lifestyle (i.e. poor diet, lack of exercise, smoking, lack of sleep etc) then your ability to fight off the infection will be impaired and you will suffer more than someone with a strong immune system. Similarly, if you actively manage stress and its impact on your mind and body as a daily habit then when a significant stressful event comes your way you are already well prepared to weather the stress storm compared to someone who is already wind battered and soaked through.

Benefits of stress management.

Making stress management an integral part of your daily routine can have numerous benefits for both your physical and mental health, including:

1. Improved immune function: Chronic stress weakens the immune system and makes you more susceptible to illness. By managing stress, you can boost your immune function and reduce your risk of getting sick.

2. Reduced anxiety and depression: Stress can contribute to the development of anxiety and depression. By managing stress, you can reduce these symptoms and improve your mental health.

3. Better sleep: Stress can disrupt sleep and make it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep. By managing stress, you can improve your sleep quality and wake up feeling more rested.

4. Increased productivity: Stress can make it difficult to focus and concentrate on tasks. By managing stress, you can improve your productivity and work more efficiently.

5. Better relationships: Stress can affect your relationships with others and lead to conflict. By managing stress, you can improve your communication skills and build stronger relationships.

6. Improved physical health: Stress is associated with a number of physical health problems, including high blood pressure, heart disease, and obesity. By managing stress, you can reduce your risk of developing these conditions.

Overall, managing stress will improve your life. It is worth the effort. Without sounding like I am promoting a well known beauty brand, You are worth it and you owe it to yourself.

When I work with clients and organisations I go beyond just educating them on techniques and strategies to manage stress. I work with them to explore the barriers, internally and externally, which prevent them taking action. We then work together to develop steps that can help them navigate the barriers so that they can gradually and purposefully move to a more positive state that promotes awareness, self care and stress resilience.

Stress management is not just about educating people, it is about action. It is about behaviour change. It is about culture change. When we are prepared to take responsibility and take the necessary steps to bring sustainable and real change to our lives we might, just might, be able to experience a shift in the current trajectory towards stress armageddon (I hope this is an exaggeration).

I would love to hear your thoughts - email me at carrie@carrieemilycoaching - what do you find most challenging when it comes to managing stress?

Your Wellbeing. Your Life. Your Future. Your Choice.

"Life is short so make it happen. Live your life to the fullest, keep pushing forwards and take little actions every day towards your dreams. Time is precious and every moment counts"