Unraveling the Mystery of Self-Care: Shifting Perspectives on Well-Being
In my ongoing series exploring holistic health there is one concept that deserves attention but which often eludes us: self-care.
Why is it that we find self-care such a difficult concept to understand when it comes to our well-being? Why does it seem synonymous with selfishness and weakness? In this blog post, we will explore the underlying reasons behind this resistance and shed light on the transformative power of self-care in nurturing our overall well-being.
The Hidden Conditioning:
From my experience of working with dozens of clients, it has become evident that self-care is not a natural instinct for most people. It either hasn't crossed their minds or is met with great resistance. There appears to be a deeply ingrained form of conditioning that places personal needs far below those of others—the needs of family, home, friends, and work.
The Burnout Paradox:
Ironically, many clients approach me feeling burnt out, depleted, and lacking in self-esteem and self-worth. They seek change and support. However, when I suggest that prioritising self-care is essential, resistance emerges. They desire a different life, yet they are hesitant to change their roles as mothers, caregivers, employees, and friends. They want to continue putting everyone else first while seeking more energy to do so. It can be challenging for them to grasp that taking care of their own well-being is vital to being there for others.
The True Essence of Self-Care:
Contrary to popular misconceptions, self-care in the context of well-being extends beyond indulgent spa days or occasional treats. While these activities have their place and contribute to our mental state, real self-care is an ongoing, deliberate, and proactive practice. It involves nurturing our physical, mental, and emotional well-being through habitual actions that promote vitality, energy, and happiness. It requires prioritising self-nurturing, self-compassion, and self-restoration.
A Counter to Selfishness:
Self-care is the antithesis of selfishness. It is a necessary act that allows us to replenish our energy, reduce stress, and restore balance. Engaging in self-care empowers us to show up as our best selves in all aspects of life, benefiting not only ourselves but also those around us. Once we shift our mindset and recognise the importance of continuous and holistic self-care, a transformation occurs. We naturally gain more energy, time, and a positive outlook on life.
A Ripple Effect on Future Generations:
Consider this - when your children observe your actions, they learn from you. You become their model for how things are and how they should be. By prioritising everyone else's needs above your own, you communicate that your well-being is secondary. Maybe we experience resistance to putting our needs first because we have grown up seeing our mothers, grandmothers and female models always putting themselves second. So, if you do the same you are inadvertently teaching your daughters/younger girls to neglect themselves and your sons/younger boys to expect women to do the same. It's a harsh truth that warrants reflection and change.
Practical Examples of Self-Care:
To bring self-care to life, let's explore some practical examples:
Physical Self-Care: Engage in regular exercise, nourish your body with wholesome food, prioritize sufficient sleep, and embrace activities that promote relaxation and rejuvenation. By attending to your physical needs, you enhance vitality, strengthen your immune system, and increase resilience.
Mental and Emotional Self-Care: Practice mindfulness, engage in activities that bring joy and fulfilment, seek support when needed, and establish healthy boundaries. Dedicate time to rest, pursue hobbies, practice gratitude, and cultivate positive relationships. These actions help manage stress, enhance emotional resilience, and maintain mental clarity.
Spiritual Self-Care: Nurture your inner self by engaging in meditation, prayer, spending time in nature, practicing gratitude, and participating in activities aligned with your values and beliefs. Spiritual self-care allows you to tap into your inner wisdom, find purpose, and experience peace and interconnectedness.
As part of my ongoing series exploring holistic health and wellbeing I have already examined some of these elements of self- care. Check out my previous blog posts here: Blog
The Journey to Prioritising Self-Care:
As someone who has overcome the challenges of people-pleasing, martyrdom, and workaholism, I understand the difficulty of shifting our mindset around self-care. One common excuse for neglecting self-care is the perceived lack of time. While it's true that no one has enough time, it's essential to recognise that we must make time by evaluating our priorities.
Often, we assume we need more time than necessary. Simple changes, like going to bed earlier and journaling instead of watching TV, can make a significant impact on our mental health.
Remember, self-care is not a luxury; it is an essential component of a healthy and fulfilling life. By embracing self-care, we not only transform our own well-being but also become positive role models for future generations.
If you find life challenging and yearn for change, I invite you to schedule a call with me to explore how my services can support your journey towards the life you desire. Let's prioritise self-care together.
Your Wellbeing. Your Life. Your Future. Your Choice.
"Life is short so make it happen. Live your life to the fullest, keep pushing forwards and take little actions every day towards your dreams. Time is precious and every moment counts"