The Pinball Machine of Life.
I quite often feel like a human pinball machine. My days are characterised by a chaotic series of roles and responsibilities, bouncing me from one task to another without a moment to pause and breathe. As a teacher, business owner, coach, housekeeper, budget keeper, cook, PA to my kids lives (which seem busier than my own!), household admin boss, friend, neighbour, and school governor, I’ve come to realise that juggling multiple roles can feel like an unending cycle of demands.
While I enjoy many of these responsibilities, it’s easy to feel rushed, overwhelmed, and like I’m failing when something inevitably slips through the cracks - which it always does. But here’s the thing: I’m not failing at life. I’m simply navigating it with limited capacity—just like everyone else.
The Importance of Setting Boundaries
One thing I’ve learnt is the critical importance of setting boundaries. In a society that celebrates being busy, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that more is better. More involvement in the kids’ activities, more tasks checked off the list, more attention to others’ needs. But the truth is, more isn’t always better—especially when it comes at the expense of our mental and emotional well-being.
Setting boundaries isn’t about doing less; it’s about doing what matters most and letting go of the rest.
Boundaries Start with Recognising Capacity
We all have a finite amount of mental and physical energy, and yet modern life expects us to juggle endless responsibilities. There’s a societal narrative that suggests we can have it all if we just manage our time better or create a better work-life balance by implementing a better system. This isn’t just unhelpful advice; it’s misleading. If we’re trying to do too much, no amount of colour-coded planners or clever time hacks will fix the underlying issue: We’re totally maxed out.
So, instead of striving to “do it all,” I’ve started to shift my focus towards doing less and doing it well. That means making tough choices about what truly deserves my time and attention, and what can be let go.
Letting Go of the Non-Essentials
One of the most freeing realisations I’ve had over the last few years is that not everything is essential. While I might feel an initial twinge of guilt over missing the odd school bake sale or forgetting a birthday, I remind myself that these are not failures—they are simply reflections of the limits of my working memory and time. We are human, and we only have so much capacity to keep track of all the little details.
So instead of striving for an impossible standard, I’m focusing on letting go of the non-essential tasks that exist purely to meet external expectations. Things like:
Trying to keep up with every community event or social gathering just because I feel like I should.
Attempting to make my home look immaculate when it’s not necessary or realistic given my current energy levels.
Saying yes to every request or favour, only to feel resentful or overwhelmed later.
Boundaries Are Not Just Practical—They’re Empowering
Here’s the liberating part: setting boundaries isn’t about becoming rigid or self-centred. It’s about reclaiming your energy and mental space so you can be fully present for the things that matter most. When I stopped worrying about pleasing everyone else or living up to society’s expectations, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.
Of course, this is still a work in progress for me, and I often find myself slipping back into old habits. But each time I catch myself, I remind myself of this truth: I am not the problem. The demands are the problem. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed in a world that expects us to juggle more than ever before.
Practical Ways to Set Boundaries in Your Life
If you’re like me and struggle with feeling overextended, here are a few practical ways to start setting boundaries:
Know Your Priorities: Make a list of the things that are truly important to you and your family. Use this as a filter to decide what gets your attention.
Say No to Non-Essentials: Give yourself permission to miss out on things that don’t align with your values or priorities. A missed school raffle or a forgotten birthday won’t ruin your life, but chronic burnout might.
Create Buffer Time: Schedule regular downtime in your day to recharge, even if it’s just a 15-minute walk or a quiet cup of tea.
Be Honest About Your Capacity: When someone asks for your time or energy, be honest about what you can realistically offer without stretching yourself too thin.
Conclusion: Embracing Boundaries as a Form of Self-Care
The world won’t stop demanding things of us, and life will always be busy. But that doesn’t mean we have to live in a constant state of overwhelm. By setting clear boundaries and letting go of the non-essentials, we can create more space for what truly matters—time with our families, moments of joy, and opportunities to recharge.
So, if you’re feeling like a human pinball machine, bouncing around from task to task, I encourage you to step back, reassess, and start setting boundaries that honour your capacity and well-being. Let go of the guilt and the impossible expectations. You are not the problem. The problem is trying to do it all without recognising that none of us are wired to handle this much stimulation and demand.
Creating and honouring boundaries is more than self-care - it is a form of self-preservation!
If this resonates with you but you have no idea how to start creating and implanting barriers into your life, or perhaps you are a chronic people pleaser and the idea of saying ‘no’ or creating boundaries is too overwhelming then I can help you. If you would like to find out more get in touch and we can arrange a completely free discovery call.
Have a great week and remember to find some time for you!
Carrie. x