A Letter to my Younger Self.
Maybe it’s a symptom of getting older but recently I have been reflecting on my life, the ups and downs and the lessons, and it got me thinking about what I would say to my 20 year-old self if I could.
Here is what I came up with. I’m curious, if you could say something to your younger self what would it be?
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Dear Carrie,
I know you are struggling, and feel a bit lost right now. There are so many things I wish I could tell you about your amazing future, but for today I just want to say, you will be okay. I promise.
As I write this, 22 years on from where you are now, I can tell you that you will be happy. Life will have its set backs and its fair share of pain but you make it through and you will create so many beautiful memories and experiences along the way.
And just a heads up, you will create more than just memories…. You will have two beautiful children and you will experience a love that transcends anything else - words can not explain the joy they will bring to your life. You will feel whole and you will know.
I want to share some lessons with you - things I wish I had known when I was your age which may have made life a little bit easier. I hope these reflections offer you some hope, guidance and encouragement.
Release anger. Holding onto anger about the past will only drag you down. It festers and corrodes your soul. Remember, anger cannot change the past, but it will poison your future. Forgive and move on.
Forgiveness is not the same as acceptance. You can forgive an action but this does not mean you accept or justify it. It is simply a process that allows you to heal.
You cannot mould someone into who you want them to be. The only person you can ever control is yourself and your choices.
Make choices that align with the life you desire, not what you believe will please others.
Get intimate with your intuition - it will be your most loyal and reliable guide. Find moments of silence and listen to your inner wisdom - it is begging for you to hear it.
Stop mistreating and disrespecting your body. You are beautiful and deserving of love, affection, and kindness - this one shift in your mindset could make the next 20 years so much easier for you!
You are far more important than you realise; you don't need to 'earn' love and acceptance. If anyone makes you feel otherwise, they aren't meant for you, and that's okay.
Your worth isn't determined by others' approval or acceptance. Stop seeking validation through people-pleasing; it will only lead to confusion and pain. Your true ‘people’ will love you exactly as you are.
Your value isn't tied to your level of 'success.'
Success isn't measured by wealth or possessions—it's something only achieved by being authentic and staying true to your values and beliefs.
Happiness isn't found in a dress size.
Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness; it is a sign of resilience and self-awareness.
Look up the work by Brené Brown — her words will offer profound insights into self-understanding and, whilst you are thinking about it, keep an eye out for Glennon Doyle too. (they might not have released books yet but when they do make sure you buy them!).
Educate yourself on true feminism and don’t be afraid to speak out for women — it will prepare you for the many injustices you will face.
Motherhood is beyond incredible but it is something you will find more challenging than you think. Prepare yourself and don't hesitate to seek support when necessary - motherhood was never meant to be a solo journey.
It is not your past that is holding you back, it is your perception of the past and your lack of self-belief. Change that and you will change everything.
Keep a journal.
Practice meditation.
Spend more quality time with Grandma, talk to her, rub her shoulders, anything - she loves you so much and you will miss her more then you can imagine when she is gone.
On that note, invest more time with ALL your loved ones. Time is not something you can stop but you can choose how you invest it.
Let go of the worry about what other people think of you. You cannot control their thoughts, and if they disapprove of you or your actions, that's their prerogative—focus on being true to yourself.
"If they wanted to, they would." This simple wisdom from Mel Robbins is a game changer. Stop waiting for people and release your expectations.
People will not remember what you do, they will remember how you made them feel.
Stop being so judgemental - compassion and curiosity will open more doors than judgement ever will.
Appreciate that you know very little - be humble and open yourself up to the possibility that you might be wrong. Fall in love with learning.
Failure is inevitable - don’t fear it, it will be your greatest teacher if you take the time to reflect on it.
When things don’t go to plan, the plan failed, not you, change course and try again.
Women are not your rivals neither are they obstacles to your success. The right women will elevate you, celebrate your achievements, and stand by you against harassment, discrimination, and injustice - find those women and then make sure you are that women for others.
For the few women who seek to undermine you, recognise that they struggle with their own challenges. No one who is truly happy will seek to hurt another. Release them and refer to back point 1.
Carrie, I hope you gain some insight from these words, but if not, I know you will be fine.
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There you have it and now, I wonder, what would my 60 year old self say to the 42 year old me…
Let me know your thoughts - what advice or words would you give to your younger self?